I CALLED YOU

I CALLED YOU, BUT
SINCE YOU DIDN’T ANSWER UR PHONE,
I WAS STUPID ENOUGH 2 CONSIDER THAT MAYBE YOU
WOULD SEE THAT I CALLED AND CALL BACK
BUT
YOU HAVEN’T
IT’S 9:10 AND
EVEN AS I M SITTING HERE LITERALLY WAITING BY MY PHONE AND THINKING WHEN DID I BECOME THIS CHICK AS MY
MIND FEELS WITH THE MEMORIES THAT ENTER ME
LIKE U ENTERED ME AND MADE ME FEEL WARM
AND SAFE
FOR NO APPARENT REASON JUICIES BEGAN 2 FORM IN A WAY THAT I DIDN’T KNOW B4 THEY COULD, AND TO SAY WHAT I FELT FROM YOU WAS GOOD
WOULD BE AND INSULT TO THE GREATNESS THAT HAS ME
IN SUCH DEBATE, IT’S
THE ESSENCES OF YOUR CARESSES THAT KEEPS MY
HEART GUESSIN I SHOULD GIVE U ANOTHER CHANCE
AND EVEN THOUGH IT STRESSES MY MIND
MY BODY IS SO TIRED OF WAITING ON THE SIDELINE
BITCH GET OUT THERE AND DANCE
DANCE
DANCE UNTIL U FAINT . . .
IT’S 9:44 AND EVEN THOUGH A PART OF ME IS THINKING WHEN DID I BECOME THIS BROAD WHO REALLY PLANS HER DAY AROUND MINUTES OF PHONE CALLS AND WHO
MELTS AT THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE
AND WHO IS WILLING TO EVEN DO THINGS
I ONCE SAID ONLY FOOLS DO
I SIT AND SIT
AND SIT
WAITING FOR U
I HAD TO GET OUT OF BED BECAUSE THE LONGER I LAID THERE THE MADDER I GOT AND THE MADDER I GOT THE MORE I BEGAN TO THINK ABOUT Y I EVEN CARED AND
THINKING ABOUT WHY I CARED I BEGAN TO PICTURE AND FEEL YOU GRIPPING MY THIGHS AND DAMN,
I GOT IT BAD,
I MEAN THERE ARE ONLY A HANDFUL A MEN WHO CAN SAY THEY HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN AND PARTAKEN IN THE PLEASURE OF THIS TREASURE
SINCE I KNOW U HAVE BEEN FIRING OFF EM SO LONG U HARDLY TREASURE THE EXPERIENCE LIKE I DO
BUT IT MEANS SOMETHING TO
ME
I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SEE THROUGH ME
BUT DON’T SPEAK OFTEN ENOUGH
TO REALLY SCHOOL ME, JUST TO FOOL ME
AND WHEN WE MET, FUNNILY AS IT MAY SOUND I DECIDED TO
LET U HOLD ME DOWN CUZ
I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE SAFE, U KNOW YOU
WEREN’T THE USUAL TYPE OF USUAL DUDE I USUALLY DATE
SO BY MAKING YOU MY MATE I FIGURED I DIDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOLDING ON TO U BCUZ
LOSING U WOULD B AS EASY AS FINDING U
IF NOTHING ENDED UP BINDING
US 2GETHER
BUT NOW MY STOMACH IS BOUND IN KNOTS FROM THOUGHTS OF U NOT HOLDING ME AND WANTING TO BE HELD
AND NOT JUST BY ANYONE
LIKE I NEVER FELT WARMTH UNTIL NOW
IT ALL SOUNDS SO STUPID
CUPID IS A PUNK ASS BITCH FOR THE ARROWS HE WASTED IN THE SPACE BELOW MY JEANS,
YOU KNOW UR FAVORITE ONES WITH THE CREASES SOWN IN AND NO BACK POCKETS SO U CAN SEE HOW U GOT IT PERKY SITTIN NICELY IN EM
BUT EVEN THOUGH IT FEELS PHENONMENAL TO BE SO FULL OF THESE FEELINGS I NEVER FELT B4 AND
I HONESTLY DON’T EVEN REALLY KNOW IF I AM FEELING U OR FEELIN LIKE I M FALLIN IN LOVE
WITH THE IDEA OF
BEING IN LOVE
HAVING NEVER REALLY BEEN IN LOVE B4, IT STILL SEEMS
THAT BEING FULFILLED AND NOT CHERISHED, BEDDED AND NOT WIFED, LETTING YOU PLAY A SURROGATE FOR THE REAL THING ISN’T
ENOUGH 4 ME, BUT WHAT I FEEL MOST IS
I M SO TIRED OF PLAYING HOUSE
ALREADY FEELING THE BUYER’S REMORSE BEFORE I POSSESS KEY SINCE IT SEEMS BY INVESTING I MAY HAVE 2 BUILD IT AND FINANCE IT ALL ALONE
AND EVEN THOUGH I CAN’T CONDONE THE
LOVE I FEEL FOR U
OR UNDERSTAND THE MOANS WHEN I DEAL WITH U
ALL I HAVE ARE MEMORIES OF WHAT IT COULD BE
AND IT’S KILLING ME THAT I CAN’T EVEN TELL U
BECAUSE U
WON’T
CALL
ME
BACK