Sunday, April 10, 2011

old bottles, new wine

For a long time I did not understand the parable of putting new wine in old bottles. I initially thought that the container is constant and that it shouldn't matter what was put in it because they were made to withstand everyday use. I can kind of see now that once a container is used it incurs certain wear and tear that makes it damaged goods and putting new liquid, with all it's freshness and bubbles, could potentially make the bottle burst. I see how this relates to ppl. It occurred to me this morning that I am damaged goods, and just because I find a new source to fill my time with, doesn't matter how good or clean the new liquid I chose to fill myself with, the one thing that remains constant is me. I have been dropped, chipped away at, thrown across the room and even once buried in the dirt and yet I still manage to float along though life, bobbing and weaving through the ocean dreaming of the thing to fill me up when in reality no matter what I allow to enter me, whatever goodness that is in it seeps through the cracks in my soul and all that I am left with is the essence of what was, not even what actually was but what it could have been if I had been in a real position to receive it. And so I guess now, instead of always looking for that "new wine" that is going to make me feel useful, I guess I could spend some more of my effort fixing the broken vessel that i have become so if something worth savoring comes along, I might actually be able to enjoy it rather than spreading myself thin to try to compensate for all the holes that time has worn in my bottle:)

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