Confusion

I am confused
like i genuinely don't know how
I feel about u
I mean
sometimes I like u, u know
like strong like usually right before or
after u know:)
But other times, I would kinda like to lay u
down in front of a car and play
speed bump with u
d@mn, it does sound worse when u say it out loud
lmao lmao lmao

All I know for sure is
that I need u, right now
for some reason unknown 2 me
or so it seems cuz when
I do decide to fire u, I just
can't come up with a reason
and even if I do come up with a reason,
I never can find the words to tell u
and just when I do find the words to tell u
u don't answer the d@mn phone
and even though u call right back
after I hang up
the words
r still mysteriously
gone
(and trust u were fired at least
4 times, well 3 for sure but that last
1 I was on the fence about:)
but still u manage to say something
or do something that makes me
reconsider, like u hit me with that
mental liquor that makes me comfortable,
reassures me that ur ok
or at least u'll work
for Mr. Right now
anyway:)
just really wanted 2 write it down
and let the stupid
live out loud b4 my brain drowns
in confusion